When I lay in bed, I close my eyes, and I pull the trigger.

Again and again and again and again.

And it comforts me.

4 months ago
3

Oh XKCD, How Do You Do It?

XKCD Has to be my favorite web comic. Short, clever, and hilarious. Meanwhile, what do you think DenverCoder9 is doing right now?

           ^——-DenverCoder9 - Fixed the problem, will never share

         ^——-DenverCoder9 - Still checking hoping someone will help, or say hi.

        ^——-DenverCoder9 - Forgot all about the problem, living life

(Source: sprocketforge)

6 months ago
2

I’ve figured it out.

All that I’m looking for, is that moment where everything goes wrong, where I won’t be with someone to love, that I’d already found out my dreams arw impossible, that no one is here ‘for’ me any longer.

Where I can finally break down, freak out, and kill myself.

Unfortunately for me, this will never happen. How great, for all of you.

7 months ago

Must the term ‘who I really am’ only apply to our darker side(s)? Is a person not all of the above?

7 months ago

blowing in the wind: how to decode a person with an anxiety disorder

euclase:

things we are trying to do all the time:

be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:

second-guess ourselves

behave impulsively and reactively

take everything personally

worry

worry

worry

have difficulty accepting compliments

have difficulty reciprocating friendly…

7 months ago
26230

That’s All, Folks.

It’s inevitable. We can’t fight it. Everyone in life is a disappointment. From day one, we are conceived alongside the image of us in the future. So different, is what we are, what we’ve become.

Burned, burned, burned in, are the forms we ‘should have.’ Awkwardly fitting into a shell we just can’t ever fit into. That’s why Goldilocks is fiction. But at the same time, a parallel. The first bed was too small. The second, too large. And the third? Juuuuuust right. But assumed perfection never does last forever, does it? Soon enough, will the bears need their rest, and trouble befalls you yet again.

Fear, is the only thing keeping all of us living. So maybe it’s not so bad after all.
Fear of losing it, fear of dying, fear of never seeing his or her face again. Fear that it just might not be real, fear that if you do kill yourself, it won’t be easier, fear of looking ugly. Fear of experiences, fear of reactions. Fear of fear.

But even knowing what to prepare for, why to live, that no shape imagined shall be your own, it doesn’t make it less hurtful. The damage comes exactly how it should, but how much of it affects you, is the variable.

Maybe just no one’s ever tried. Maybe it is possible to be happy ALL the time. But for as far I know, that’s just too damn weird for every single one of us.

I wish this made sense. I wish this was going somewhere, going strong, and ended full circle. But that’s me, and that’s also life. Always going, always different, always unexpected.

Goodnight, whoever you are reading this. And if this did something for you, yay. If it made you smile, well, that’s one of us at least.